Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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