Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
