I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
