Christians are straight up FREAKS
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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