Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
