big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
