with your own penis?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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