Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My bed smells like the plague
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
