If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize