He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
