plz talk dirty to me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
