New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I didn't notice because vodka
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
