How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
