The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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