dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize