i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
