So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
