Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I love you. Go after that dick
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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