I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
