he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
