you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
