Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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