smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
