My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
