just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We named our party play list daddy issues
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
