he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
