That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
