I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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