Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
