Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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