Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
