Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
