Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
