I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
