people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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