I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
