I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
