I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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