i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
