Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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