What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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