IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
