What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
