i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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