Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
