Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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