I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
