are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
