dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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