She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love having hate sex.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
