I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
