i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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