sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize