my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
