You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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