Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
420 ftw
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
