I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
