I seem to have left my pride at pride
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize