i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
