You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
