Michael Bay diarrhea
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
