Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
