I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
