your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize