So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
