and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
