dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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