I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
