...so i touched it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize